Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
