Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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