dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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