what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
