Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
