Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
