Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
