She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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