There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
