Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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