i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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