but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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