You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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