I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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