I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
