I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
