Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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