You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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