I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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