on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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