Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I believe in your delicious
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
