my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
