I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
