the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Found your dick twin last night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
