Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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