Me. At least after what I've been through.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
