Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
