he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Are we still banned from the library?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
