so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
