He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
