Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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