Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he thought i was a dude.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
