I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize