I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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