You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
