just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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