I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
