The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
