the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
That accounts for only three of the penises
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize