I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
