shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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