She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
this boner is exhausting
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
