Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
