"it" just moved
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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