? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She bit a glass in half.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
