I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
