oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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