oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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