Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
