Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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