sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
