I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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