I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
