I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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