I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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