My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
