she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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