Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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