he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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