Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
