The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize